Day care, not something I want to deal with. Having to deal with this means that I have to face reality, that I'm going back to work and can't spend every waking minute with my daughter. It's heartbreaking. I know that she'll be fine, and I know tons of kids are in day care while their parents work, and they are all fine, and they grow up to be wonderful people. But somehow I feel like I'm a bad mother, leaving my child for the day while I go to work.
My mom was a stay at home home and so I think that's why I feel like I should do that too. Because that's what I had growing up and that's what I know. But at the same time, my mom didn't really have a career, sure she had a job before kids, but nothing worth holding on to. I'm a teacher, my job is perfect for being a mom once she's school age. I get the same days off and vacations as she does, so why is this so hard?! Well it could be that I just got a new position at work - yep interviewed while on maternity leave and got a promotion - and I'm nervous about going back because there is a bit of a learning curve to this job now. I think it wouldn't be so bad if I was going back to the same old job, knew what I was getting into with work and just had to deal with separation anxiety with leaving Naomi. Now I have to deal with anxiety over this new position. Don't get me wrong, I want this new position and I know I can do it, its just, well new! And sometimes that's the scary part.
We looked into a home day care at first. I like this idea, there would be a few other kids and it would be at someone's house and it would be the cheapest. So I called a bunch that were in my town and only 2 called me back. One said I could come and check out her house and see what a home day care was like, but she didn't have any openings. Great. The other one said she was only open Monday thru Thursday and I could come and check out her home day care but only on Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Wow red flag there. Why can't I come and see how you work with the kids? So that one was out. I did go and see the first one and it was well, a home day care, not really sure what I was supposed to look for. Her house was fine, but nothing to write home about. There were 6 kids and they were hanging out. It was fine. But then I started thinking, well there are kids from 5 months to 5 years old. How do you ensure that the infants will get the attention they need while taking care of the 5 year olds? So home day care was out.
So next I thought about getting a nanny. I liked the idea of having one person to one kid. This way my daughter would get the individualized attention that she needed, I'd feel safe that she was constantly being watched, and they would be in my environment, my home. So I placed an ad on care.com. Well I received over 50 responses to this ad. Most of them are high school and college students, and a handful are older women. After reading through the first 30 or so I saw a pattern. Almost everyone wanted to take my daughter to the local park or the play ground, enjoy outdoor summer activities such as swimming and taking walks around the neighborhood. I started thinking two things: 1.) I wanted to do these outdoor activities with her, and I started getting emotional and 2.) I do NOT want anyone other than myself or my husband driving her, taking her into the water or leaving the house - especially a high school or college student! I started getting anxious about them getting into an accident while driving, drowning her while swimming or taking their eyes off her at the park and having her go missing! I know I watch way too many crime dramas on tv. So nannying was out.
Finally we looked into day care centers. I looked at a couple and found the right one for us. I felt comfortable that my daughter would be with children her own age, have enough individual attention and socialization as well as be able to go outside to the playground or stay inside and have plenty of age appropriate stimulation all in one safe environment. This is the right fit for my family and our needs, but it may not be the right fit for others.
Needless to say this took several months of research, telephone calls and visits as well as LOADS of stress to figure out. Now that it has been figured out I feel much less stressed about leaving my daughter at day care, knowing that she will be with others her own age, with people who care about her, play and learn with age appropriate curriculum and especially knowing that she will be safe.
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