The last few days of pregnancy I was SO ready to be done being pregnant. And then I finally went into labor and thought, I don't remember it being this painful last time. I guess we forget how painful it is for a reason... otherwise people wouldn't have more than one kid! Once I got the epidural though, things were much better!
J was born in the morning and this time my mom was there in the delivery room. At first I thought that it might be weird, kind of take away from this moment from me and m husband, but it was fine. I mean by that time there are so many people in the room looking at you giving birth, what's one more person? I think it was really special for my mom to be there, so I'm glad she was, even if she headed off to work after the baby was born! (She did return later that day to hold the baby!)
I was a bit nervous figuring out how to introduce N to her new little sister. My husband and I thought and over thought how we should have them meet. The good news, even though we didn't know it, was that the hospital maternity ward, did not let kids under the age of 19 in, which at first we were bummed about. But I think it worked out better that N didn't meet J in the hospital, and see mom hooked up to IV's and wearing a weird gown.
We brought J home on a Friday afternoon and had a few hours to settle her and myself in before Dad went and picked up N at school. N was SO excited to see the baby she barely said hi to me, I mean she hadn't seen me in 3 days, I guess I'm chopped liver! Anyway, she was so excited to see the new baby and hold her and put her in the swing and then the bouncy seat and then the bassinet, that we had to slow her down a bit and tell her that in time she will use all of these things, but now she just needed to sleep.
J is now 6 weeks old and N likes to help out with her little sister. She likes to help mom changer her, she doesn't seem to mind her crying as much as mom and dad do, she likes to snuggle with her in the morning and she LOVES to have matching jammies with J.
The first week for me was really hard. I kept thinking once I was done being pregnant, which was just no fun in the end, things would be way better. I mean after all I'd done this before. I knew what I was getting myself into...breast feeding, washing bottles, taking the baby out for walks in the stroller with the dog, getting a few winks while she napped in the swing or bouncy seat or bassinet, because that't what I did with N. But let me tell you this kid is a whole new kid with a whole new set of rules and no instruction book. J hates the car seat, hates the stroller, hates being put down in the swing or bouncy seat or bassinet. So I spend most of the day holding her. If I put her down she cries. If she's not eating, sleeping or being held, she's crying. This makes doing things a little trickier. Its hard to nap when you are holding a baby, so naps are few and far between. Its hard to get things done with one hand, while the other is holding the baby. So my husband, has been doing 110%. He's been doing the laundry, dishes, dinner, cleaning, and most importantly taking care of N. He makes her lunch, does her tub, reads to her at night, puts her to bed, gets her up in the morning, gives her breakfast, gets her dressed and takes her to school. And what do I do during all this, I take care of J. I hold her or feed her, but mostly hold her. And I feel extremely guilty about not helping him or helping around the house or helping with N. In fact the first week home I was so emotional, mostly with guilt about not being able to give N my undivided attention and do things with her that we used to do, that I would just burst into tears randomly. Mostly at night when I could hear my husband playing with N in the tub or reading her books and tucking her in. It really caught me off guard because I didn't have any of these feelings or this reaction when N was a newborn.
After a few weeks, we as a family got into a routine. Or we just got used to having J around. We still sat down as a family for dinners (even if J was crying in her bouncy seat), N still read books before bed in our room. And N and my husband got used to me and J not getting up and going to work or helping in the morning. The biggest change I think was that N started to get up in the middle of the night and come into our room. I think she was doing this because she was a little jealous that J was sleeping in our room with us. So we implemented the Sandman - who leaves surprises under your pillow if you stay in bed all night. It got to the point where N was waking up at 4am and turning the light on to look under her pillow each morning, that we now have a sticker chart. So after x amount of days in a row of staying in bed all night the Sandman would leave a surprise. So we're not waking up each morning early looking under our pillow! So far it's been working well. We do have days that she does get up and that's expected, after all she's only 2!
One of the things that we've started doing to make N feel special, or to know that she's still loved is have sleepovers with Grammy and Nana. This way she gets that individual attention from the grandparents - ok spoiled is the word - and she loves it. In fact she asks to have a sleepover quite frequently! I know it's because they let her run the show, but she needs that release! Especially because we expect so much of her as a big sister now!
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